Our View From Here

Perspectives of Five Women

New Year is an Understatement

on December 30, 2010

I know this week we’re supposed to give our resolutions. I’m like Isabel and Amanda and don’t normally make them. I also have bigger things on my mind right now. In three quick words I can give my New Years Resolution: Find a job.

Today is my last day at my current job. I’ve been with this company nearly 8 1/2 years. It was the first company I worked for out of college. I’ve worked in different jobs and different departments and have gotten to know so many people. After today I’ll never see most of them ever again. This has been an interesting week with the full spectrum of emotions.

I’ve been excited about the prospect of going anywhere. Free to start anew at a different company with different responsibilities. The next minute I’ll be panicking. Horrified that my income, that’s been so stable and secure the past 8 years, is gone and I have no idea where my next paycheck will come from. Overwhelmed at the to do list in my head: Sign up for unemployment, find health insurance that won’t eat up all of my unemployment money, pack because no matter where I end up I’ll be moving, sign up for an IRA so Ican move my 401k money (I keep forgetting this one which is why I listed it.). I know there are things I’m forgetting. Everyday it seems like there is something else I need to do to prepare myself for this change over.

And then I just become sad. I’ve gotten to meet and know some fantastic people at this job. People I looked forward to seeing everyday. People that may frustrate you sometimes but for the most part made you smile and laugh…a lot. I worked with some of the craziest characters I’d ever met. You can’t write characters like this. Nowhere else have I been where there are stories that end with “I took a Xanax, had a glass of wine,and woke up in Amsterdam.” Priceless. I will miss everyone here so much.

But I’m trying to look forward to the possibilities of the future. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence right? Now I get to explore the other side of the fence. I’ve never left the area I grew up in. Even for college, I stayed in the same state. Studying 3 hours from home. I still live in the house I grew up in. It’s time to see what life is like in other places. I have a couple areas in mind. Right now I’m focused on New England but that could change. Who knows? That’s the exciting and terrifying part of it all.

I’ve told myself over and over, “I will be fine everything will work out.” Friends and family say the same thing. Doubt will creep in and I’ll have an anxiety attack for a little while. I fear that I’ll make the absolute wrong decision. When I do, my loved ones are there to remind me, “If you follow your gut and your heart you will be fine. When its right you’ll know it.” I’ll have a new job and a new life and all will be well.

Today I just need to get through the saying good bye part.

This song has been in my head all week. I think it fits.


One response to “New Year is an Understatement

  1. […] this week we’re looking back to see how we did on our resolutions. I re-read my post stating my very simple resolution (“Find a job”). So did I follow through with my […]

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