Fashion BACKWARD

I am not a fashionable person. I am not in the know when it comes to designers and trends. I think I dress nicely, but I’m certainly not on the cutting edge of fashion. Accordingly, I tend not to notice to a great extent what other people are wearing. However, there are times when something so bizarre, or so hideous crosses my path that I can’t help but notice. At that point, my natural snarky tendencies come out and I have to share my findings. Here’s what I’ve been subjected to of late.

Leggings. I fully believe that only pre-pubescent girls or fit people engaged in physical activity at the time of wearing leggings can pull them off. For most people, it is just not attractive. I’m a firm believer in dressing your body type, not dressing to fit fashion. Wear what’s going to look good on you and don’t wear things just because they’re fashionable at the moment.

I would also like to point out that leggings are not pants, unless you’re a young girl. Accordingly, one should not wear leggings as pants. If you insist on wearing leggings, you need to have skirt, dress or long sweater that goes at least to your mid-thigh. Keep your parts covered, ladies, because most people aren’t going to want to see what you’re showing.

Jean shorts and black pantyhose. I was subjected to this ensemble twice on my 5 minute walk to work from the train this morning. What is this, 1987? I swear Debbie Gibson had that exact outfit on in one of her videos. Really, people? Fashion from the 80s wasn’t good the first time around. Why are we trying to revive it?!

Skirts? Long shirts? I don’t know what to call these….things….but I’ve seen people wear them (usually with leggings, please see above). It’s like they’re trying to be skirts but they got caught in the dryer to long and shrunk and now barely cover one’s nether regions. I’m not a prude. I’ve certainly worn, and still wear, my share of short skirts. But I make sure everything is covered at least! Please see above for my thoughts on proper skirt length to pair with leggings. Yuck people. Just yuck.

And on a side note, please remember proper leg placement when sitting while wearing a skirt or dress. Knees and ankles together please! I cannot tell you how many women I’ve seen completely oblivious (I assume) to the fact that they’re giving everyone in front of them a show because they sit down as if they are wearing pants. Close ‘em up, ladies!

I feel much better for getting all of that off my chest. Though I’m sure it will be short-lived once I begin my commute tomorrow morning. Thank you for reading my fashion public service announcement.

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